Story of the Week
The Comparison Trap in Action
Here's what comparison actually does to your brain: It takes your personal wins and instantly transforms them into losses.
You could have your best month ever, but if you see someone else having an even better one, your brain doesn't celebrate your progress — it focuses on the gap between you and them.
This isn't just about feeling bad. Comparison literally rewires how you see success. Instead of measuring progress based on where you started, you start measuring it against everyone else's highlight reel.
It's like trying to run a race while constantly looking sideways at the other runners — you're guaranteed to stumble.
Why "Just Don't Compare" Doesn't Work
The advice to "stop comparing yourself to others" is like telling someone to "just don't think about elephants." The moment you try, it’s all you can think about.
Comparison isn't a choice — it's a hardwired human survival mechanism. For thousands of years, knowing where you stood in the social hierarchy was literally a matter of life and death. Your brain is just doing its job.
The solution isn't to stop comparing. It's to change what you're comparing yourself to.
The Timeline Shift That Changes Everything
Here's the mindset shift that transformed my Monday mornings: I stopped comparing my Chapter 3 to someone else's Chapter 20.
Everyone is on their own timeline, writing their own story. When I see someone celebrating a massive win, instead of thinking,"Why can't I do that?" I started thinking, "I wonder what their Chapter 3 looked like?"
This shift did something unexpected — it made me genuinely excited for other people's success instead of threatened by it. When you realize that someone else's win doesn't diminish your potential for winning, you can actually root for them.
The Three-Step Comparison Detox
When you catch yourself in the comparison trap, try this process:
1. Pause and Acknowledge: Don't fight the feeling — acknowledge it. "I notice I'm comparing myself to [person] right now, and it's making me feel [emotion]."
2. Reframe the Timeline: Ask yourself, "What chapter of their story am I seeing? What chapter am I currently writing in my own?"
3. Redirect to Your Progress: Shift focus to your own growth. "How far have I come from where I started? What's one thing I can do today to move my story forward?"
The Unexpected Benefit of Stopping Comparison
When I stopped seeing other people's success as evidence of my failure, something beautiful happened: I started building deeper relationships.
Instead of feeling threatened by successful people, I became genuinely curious about their journeys. I started reaching out to congratulate them, asking questions, and learning from their experiences. Many of these interactions turned into meaningful friendships and business relationships.
It turns out that when you're not competing with everyone, you can actually connect with them. It’s amazing.
Your Anti-Comparison Challenge
This week, I want you to try an experiment:
Day 1-2: Notice when you compare yourself to others. Just observe without judgment.
Day 3-4: When you catch yourself comparing, practice the three-step process above.
Day 5-7: Find one person whose success you've been envious of and genuinely congratulate them. Ask them one question about their journey.
The goal isn't to eliminate comparison entirely — it's to transform it from a source of pain into a tool for connection and growth.
Remember, your timeline is your timeline. Someone else being ahead doesn't mean you're behind — it just means you're on different paths, writing different stories.
Here's to celebrating your chapter while cheering for others. You’ve got this!
P.S. If you're looking for a community where people celebrate each other's wins instead of competing, check out the SPI Community. It's one of the few places online where other people's success genuinely feels like inspiration rather than intimidation.
